Ugly and wicked. These are the words that come to mind when one thinks of the way stepmothers are historically portrayed in children’s stories and movies. Mother’s Day is around the corner and the lack of stepmother cards available has got me feeling a little uneasy.
Perhaps, most famous of all for depicting the ugly and wicked stereotype, is Cinderella’s stepmother. She, and her equally evil and ugly daughters, go to great lengths to prevent Cinderella from having the life and love she desires and deserves.
Snow White’s stepmother, the Queen, tries to kill her. The Queen is definitely wicked, but she is an interesting case, because she is, arguably, also beautiful. She is well aware of her beauty, and portrayed as so vain that she is willing to kill Snow White to be the “fairest of them all.” If a stepmother is beautiful this seems to make her even more evil.
Hansel and Gretel’s stepmother, an ugly witch, lures her stepchildren into the woods to a house made of candy. She subsequently tries to bake Hansel and Gretel in the oven. Instead, Hansel and Gretel succeed in killing her and subsequently live “happily ever after.”
Enter, Gisele.
The May 2009 issue of Vanity Fair features supermodel Gisele Bundchen on the cover. If you don’t know her love story by now, it goes something like this: Supermodel meets football star quarterback (Tom Brady). Supermodel and football player fall in love. Two months in, football player learns his ex-girlfriend is pregnant and he is the father. Baby is born. Supermodel and football player get married. They all live happily ever after.
“I think it was a blessing, because otherwise I don’t think I would have known what he was made of, and he wouldn’t have known what I was made of,” says Gisele of finding out Brady’s ex-girlfriend was pregnant with his son. “Our relationship has become so much stronger, and I think I wouldn’t be as certain as I am today if it weren’t for that.”
And as far as her feelings towards her stepson are concerned: “I feel blessed to have him in my life.”
Gisele isn’t ugly, nor wicked, nor jealous. She’s beautiful, optimistic, open-minded, and big-hearted. She sheds stepmother stereotypes as effortlessly as she sheds her dress on the cover.
Whether she realizes it or not, Gisele might be helping to change the face of stepmotherhood.
{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }
Jade 05.10.09 at 6:37 am
I love this post. I’m a stepmother, and I struggle with it sometimes - it’s hard to have your own voice, but not been seen as being evil or wicked. Being a stepmother is a hard position to be in -you have parental responsibilities, but none of the respect. But it’s also worthwhile and I think there are a lot of kids who are lucky to have that additional influence in their lives. I’m going to link to this next time I write about step-parenting.
Jennifer McWhirter 05.11.09 at 8:25 am
Thanks for your comment, Jade. I’m a stepmom, too. It certainly has some unique challenges, but also some incredible rewards.
ellen 07.25.09 at 9:02 pm
Hi I think this is very true, I am a step daughter and I get on great with my stepmother. at the start it was difficult but if the step mother puts in the effort things can be great! And i know that it is hard at times but if you try not giving out it can really help, because when someone who is not a parent gives out to you it can be a very sensitive thing. Trust me on this one i am 14 and i know! Only give out when totally necessary. And if you stick to this rule it will really really help; ” Say what you mean, mean what you say but, don’t say it mean”
Lots of love
-elle